what other people may think (it doesn’t matter)

I was not raised Christian, nor was I really raised atheist. I grew up with no real expectations for what religion I may or may not be a part of when I got older. I’m grateful for that, because it’s given me freedom and clarity to choose my own path. However, growing up with a choice is actually quite frightening at times. I wanted many times to pray, but I didn’t know who to pray to. Much of my family is Christian, and so the only spiritual being I could think to pray to was God. But I never had a clear or close connection with God. I believe in and respect the existence of all gods, but I do not worship or feel a connection to all gods. I felt lost for a little while, having no one I knew to pray to. One of the only things I knew I believed in for certain was angels. I had been told since I was young that they would watch over and protect me, and I felt many times that they were doing so. I still feel that way, and angels are very important to me.

I was lucky in that I had several very healthy examples of Christianity in my life. I admire the religion a great deal. I saw how, when it is healthy and promotes self-love and love towards others, it can be a truly wonderful thing.

Some people don’t understand how it’s possible to believe in other gods. To me, it’s the feeling I felt when I was younger and lived close to the woods for a few years. It’s the feeling of safety and a calling to something comforting and magical. It’s the happiest I’ve been in life when I am connected to that feeling, and I’ve been able to put a few names to it. The name just isn’t God. It’s not even a single name for me. It’s Hecate, the Wiccan Goddess, the angels, and others who I connect to as I learn more. My path is simply different from the Christian path, but I believe all paths are correct. I believe in many different forms of the Divine. I honor Hecate somewhat similarly to how Christians honor God.

For a while I rejected the entire idea of religion, because I didn’t know how I fit into it at all, and I didn’t want to appear “foolish” for believing in anything other than God. I slowly moved into an eclectic Wiccan spirituality after discovering it and researching it for a long while. It felt like a connection between me and the magic I felt when I used to be so connected to nature. But I soon became so worried about being judged that I quit my practice entirely. A few months later, I found my courage again and decided this was the path I wanted to head down. Even then, however, I decided I would never worship any god other than the Wiccan God and Goddess, and that I would only see them as symbols, not as gods. But the true reason I refrained from honoring gods as gods and not symbols alone was that I was scared of what people may think of me. But I’ve now come to the conclusion that what people think of me cannot be the foundation of my spiritual practice. I’ve just started honoring Hecate after being called to her for several months. I’m glad I have. I’m excited to continue growing and learning more about the gods and goddesses, because they are so important to me.

Your path is your path alone, and no one else’s should dictate your own.

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